Basingstoke Life

21......the first time round.

2007-06-04T08:47:00.000Z

What a weekend, the weather was great! Spent Saturday evening at a family members 21st birthday party. The usual banter kicks off once everybody has had a bit to drink, like throwing beer over each other. Spraying expensive champagne at the birthday girl,falling over....etc etc.

I have to admit iam going to need to give my liver a few days off from the booze.

Tour of Cyprus

2007-05-29T09:45:00.000Z

I have recently been on at my PSI to let me go on tour for 6 months in Cyprus with the UN. I figured that my newly learnt skills in the world of communications can be put to good use and i may be a better signaller for it. Knowing my luck though the whole thing will be half a year of stagging on in the green zone.

But i get the chance to work with other people from other countries and backgrounds and i think it would be for my personal and social development and I may even make a difference. Not everybody in Cyprus i feel is keen on the British being there and more so now the Territorial Army is doing instead of the regs. So this maybe a ideal chance to prove that the TA is a commited, hard working professional army and that the brits arnt all that bad.

Trouble again in Byrd Gardens.

2007-01-03T16:53:00.000Z

Over the last couple of weeks the residents of our lovely street have had alot of abuse from a large gang of 'retarded teenage apes'. Yup, may only be 25 myself and not long ago i was a teenager but i cannot remember being like this bunch of wankers. My letter below was sent to Maria Miller, Basingstoke MP.

In the last month we have had two occurances by who we feel are the same gang of youths, walking through our street late at night causing alot of damage to private property.
The first instace they smashed up to 6 car windscreens, on which a large section of our street chased them off.
Last night we had a second occurance where they knocked bins over and emptied rubbish over the street. When confronted again by a neighbour, he was beaten with what looked like a police baton.
The baton has been seen on both incidents.
I and other members of our street would appreciate your assistance in this matter.
Many thanks

To which she has replied:

Dear Mr Dawe,

Thank you for using my online surgery.
I am concerned to learn about the anti social problems you have been experiencing from a gang of youths late at night.

I will of course do what I can to help, I have therefore written to the Borough Council and the Basingstoke Police asking them to look into the matter.

As soon as I receive a reply, I will of course write to you again.
With best wishes,

Maria Miller MP

Will keep you posted when she replies.....hope she can help.

More car repairs!

2007-01-03T11:47:00.000Z

My car is in the garage yet again for repairs....this time it has something to do with some transmission fault, and its costing me £297 for the repair job. SO in honour of such a nasty piece of engineering i have posted below the Adam Sandler song 'Ode to my car'.

"Ode To My Car"

Here we go
Piece of shit car
I got a piece of shit car
That fuckin' pile of shit
Never gets me very far

My car's a big piece of shit'
Cause the shocks are fucking shot
And my seatbelt's fucking brokenI got to tie it in a knot
(It's a piece of shit)
I can't see through the windshield
'Cause it's got a big fucking' crack
And the interior smells real bad'
Cause my friend puked in the back

(It's a piece of shit)
(Piece of shit car)
Piece of shit car
(He's got a piece of shit car)
It sucks royal dick
(That fuckin' pile of shit)
100% crap
(Never gets him very far)
Oh fuck you car

It's got no CD player, it only got the 8-track
Whoever designed my car can lick my sweaty nut sack
(They can bite his ass too)
And I got no fuckin' brakes
I'm always way out of control
Eleven times a day I hear "Hey, watch it asshole"
(You fuckin' piece of shit)

(Piece of shit car)
I got piece of shit car
(He got a piece of shit car)
Diesel gas sucks my ass
(That fuckin' pile of shit)
That pile of metal shit
(Never gets him very far)
Oh what the fuck did I do
What the fuck did I do
What the fuck did I do
To get stuck with you
You're too wide for drive-through
And you smell like the shoe

But I'm too broke to buy something new
Oh fuck me
Well the engine likes to flood
The car always fuckin' stalls
And the seat cushion's got a big rip
So a spring always pokes the balls(Ouch, ouch, ouch)
Plus the door locks are bustedI gotta use a fucking coat hanger
(What a pain in his ass)And if a girlie sees my car
There's no chance I'll ever bang her
(He never ever gets the pussy)
Hey shut up(Piece of shit car)You piece of shit car
(You got a piece of shit car)You piece of shit car
(Piece of shit car)Bald fuckin' tires
(You got a piece of shit car)No rearview fucking mirror
(Piece of shit car)Seven different colors
(You got a piece of shit car)Fucking rag for a gas cap
(Piece of shit car)Tailpipe makes the sparks fly everywhere
(You got a piece of shit car)
(Piece of shit car)
(You got a piece of shit car)
(Piece of shit car)Oh the whole town thinks I'm a loser
(You got a piece of shit car)Cabby give me a push(Piece of shit car...)

Weymouth Bridge Building

2006-11-24T12:09:00.000Z

Last weekend i was back down in weymouth....not as good this time, didnt realy have as much of a laugh in town but it was good to have a beer or too with mates. Did a engineering module were we were taught how to build a bridge, heavy work but it was good to see the final product once we finished the task.Not long now till out troop christmas party in Aldershot.

England, the Benefits State

2006-08-30T08:20:00.000Z

Straight forward advertising

2006-08-25T14:22:00.000Z

Seen in an Australian auto accessory shop. Don't you just love the way Australians don't bother with fancy product names?

Response to Alan Clement posts

2006-06-25T21:06:00.000Z

Hi all.....alot of peeps have been posting messages about the Alan Clement post i made a few years ago. We have read these and feel that if we can give some comfort to Tracie and family this next bit may....help.

As you know Stace lost her husband far to early in life.....she just wants to say how she got through it...

You probley dont believe that time is a healer at the moment. Things are still very raw, and its still early days. I know only to well that you cant just switch off your emotions and carry on like nothing has happened....its impossible, but you have to carry on and take each day as it comes, and work through the torement and frustration that comes with not having Alan or your dad a round you. And your look back in 5,10,15 years time and think, Bloody hell did i really go through all that, and survive!....and the answer will be yes....and now proud you will feel of yourself.....As was i, when i reflect on what it was like after losing my beloved husband, and father to my 2 daughters. Be patient, and your look back on this and see it as a chapter of your lifes that you have learnt a great deal from.Love to Tracie and the Girls xStace x

I need a Million Quid!

2006-04-20T14:58:00.000Z

Yep, thats right. I need at least a million pounds to be able to quit my job and travel the world with my family. I see all these lovely holiday shows on the box and i yearn to just have a look for a little while, not much to ask for seeing that we as a race are likely to trash it soon anyway.

So sponsor me to do something, Iam open to offers that don't include stripping off and wiping sugar to my knackers whilst standing next to a wasp nest. Just the fun stuff like walking to Paris backwards, or Base jumping off the empire state building....

....mmm
...

..errmmm
...
...

..this is never going to happen but what the heck, no harm in trying..... :-)

ATR Lichfield 11-25th Feb 2006

2006-03-08T11:39:00.000Z

Below i have posted a few snaps taken by Jonathan on the TA training '2 weeker' that i attended in Febuary. Please do not point out the bags under my eyes in most of the pictures.

(above) Back of my Head, Steve Pratt and Will

(above) Some of the lads on the last day, smiles all round

(above) Nick, after NBC..... poor git...

(above) O'Neill, Wells & Nick looking far to happy

(above) Hackett Trp find time to piss about after NBC

(above) more happy buggers .....it wasnt always like this...lol

(above) Section Two before the final fling

(above) The two Will's inspect a locker

(above) Funny Quotes on a postcard ....this wasnt me neither...hehe

(above) 25m Range

Mad World

2006-02-07T11:36:00.000Z

Cartoon demonstrators facing a line of police call for the murder of people and praise suicide bombers - police reaction 'we are studying the tapes'. A British woman reads out a list of British soldiers who were killed in Iraq, a British man collects signatures for a petition, an 80+ year old concentration camp survivor protests at a New Labour meeting - police reaction 'arrest and prosecute them all'. This is fundamentalist political correctness by spineless gutless authorities controlled by a totally inept government who cannot do the job we work so hard to pay for.The man who stands there rigged up like a suicide bomber is allowed to preach hate because he is miffed with a cartoon in a paper. At the same time, same street,next to him..... a man is arrested for insiting racial hatred because he is arguing against this man by handing out copies of the cartoon that were drawn.Shouldnt have both of them been arrested....? They both committed the same offence...This only proves one thing, that by putting several different cultures into one place only one thing will prevail....anarchy.Anarchy fuelled by the media and a government who havnt a clue. The cultures that exist in this country really do not know anything about each other and its that ignorance or lack of knowledge that will cause this nation to implode unless we can have a leader who can build a better harmony & understanding between religions and cultures. And by dishing out 'double standards' and 'one rule for one and one for another' will only cause more division between a nation that is heading towards a very real prospect of civil war.NOTE: Iam not a rascist, iam a person who feels that the powers in charge dont have a bloody clue and are causing alot of damage to the relationship our nation has with other cultures.Blair is turning more into Bush everyday.

Basingstoke Mayor hits back at magazine

2006-01-20T14:37:00.000Z

It was announced today that Basingstoke Mayor is a bit miffed about a comment made a magazine made for Air Travel company Easyjet.

Mayor Paula Baker has hit back at an airline magazine that lists Basingstoke as one of the least appealing places to visit in Europe.
*NOTE : Well think logically here Paula, if I had a choice between Basingstoke and Prague.... you can figure the rest...

The article - entitled No Fly Zone - was featured in the November edition of In-flight magazine, which is handed out to passengers on board flights with budget airline easyJet.
Under the headline "Visit These Destinations at Your Own Risk" writer Kevin Pilley describes Basingstoke as:

"The epitome of all determinedly characterless, soulless, exceptionally
unprepossessing, sterile town planning based on the guiding artistic principle
of `We can't afford to make it nice''
True....
I would'nt disagree...
"Basingstoke boasts the headquarters of the AA and Europe's
largest multi-storey car park, which you won't be able to see because it's
always full.
It is renowned for its oven chips and microwave cookery. And
nothing much else."
Your forgetting Chavs.....
"Say no more. Except, of course, that the people are positively
wonderful."
Wonderful, most would'nt piss on you even if you were on fire!
Mayor of Basingstoke and Deane Councillor Paula Baker is outraged.
She said: "The easyJet article - as anyone who really knows the town would have told them - only got one thing right.
"Basingstoke is a vibrant, attractive town with marvellous facilities for leisure, sport and the arts, set in fabulous countryside. And, as they rightly said, the people are positively wonderful."
Magazine publisher Ink Publishing declined to comment on the article and said all inquiries should be directed to Mr Pilley.
Take the rose tinted glasses off love...the road planning is dreadful, Housing is over priced TaT and the contribution it has made to culture was a large stumpy looking stone penis in wote street and red metal men on yet another round-a-bout.
So all in all i think the bloke hit the nail on the frigging head!

Whoop Whoop!

2006-01-19T14:17:00.000Z

Long time no see I hear you all say, chances are many wont have missed me but what the heck.
Update to my life since the last time I blogged.

Still with the same job - Data Track Technology
Still in the TA - And about to do a 2 week basic training camp on Feb 11th
Left the Youth group Adventure Ranger Corp
Had a great Christmas
Bought a Ipod Video
And thats about it.....

For all the kind people who have been leaving comments i will read them and make sure links are updated on my site and i'll read others blogs as well.

And this time i'll make more of an effort to post more often!

Rat Packs for the US.

2005-09-07T15:30:00.000Z

A small aticle on BBCi has given me something to write about today:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4221838.stm

Over 500,000 of these British Army issue rat packs have been sent to New Orleans to help feed the victims of Katrina. Not the best meal on the planet but when you hungry, busting open them boxes for the first time to find chocolate and boiled sweets is like christmas. By the way, quick note for our friends from the US... the kleenex isn't in there for your runny nose, did you see any toilet roll in there?

Also, most of the food in there is like a laxative and get the bowels working overtime, but there other foods (if balanced properly) can keep you steady for a while. If you have dirty water the purification tablets will help but this makes the water taste like a soluable pain killer, not really nice but i suppose it beats drinking filthy water. The food does not even have to be warm as it tastes pretty good cold.

Basingstoke - Capitol of Culture and Arts, and Garage Doors.

2005-09-01T20:43:00.000Z

Oh crikey, Basingstoke could win a award for a arty looking Garage door.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/arts/4205230.stm

My Holiday in Turkey

2005-08-31T22:33:00.000Z

Got back Saturday morning from a great holiday in Turunc, Turkey. Wonderful people and country with so many great things going for them. Sort of hoping it doesnt turn into a club 18-30 pile of shit.

Plenty of booze had been consumed and gifts bought for family members - tip for all holiday makers, try Rakki with Orange juice....lovely!

Just a quick post today but will be making more of an effort to do more per week.

Not so Bad Lads Army.

2005-08-08T20:44:00.000Z

Oh what a weekend, completed my TAFS 1 weekend (again) with the TA. A host of beasting, hard PT and having shaving foam cans thrown at me for being dirty, along with hardly any sleep. Its tough but its there to prepare me for basic training.

For to long people have looked apon the TA as a Dads army unit, a joke....but unless you do it you know it could'nt be further from the truth. They train you hard, and make you achieve stuff that you never knew you could do.

And at the end of it all, I will make my family very proud.

Star Wars - Revenge of the Sith

2005-05-31T14:22:00.000Z

Total Horse Shit!

The cast look like they are about to commit suicide everytime they utter any of the dialogue, it actually manages to be the worst film I have ever seen.

Faults with the film:

Shockingly bad acting
Scenes between Anakin and Padme are too long, add that with the total lack of chemistry between the two and Anakin not being able to suss out that Padme is pregnant even though she had a bump an hour before she got round to telling him.
Horrendous dialogue that is actually unintentionally amusing.
Darth Vader can have his arms and legs cut of with a light saber, then be burnt and left to die in volcanic lava..... And live! But Padme dies in child birth, not because of medical problems...But because she has decided (and this was in the script) 'given up on living'. Yes, that's right.... If your in your 20's you too can give up on life as easy as a pentioner in there sleep.
After Phantom menace and AOTC you would have thought Lucas would have brought in a better script writer and director.
The film is far to bloody long.

Now, I agree that I have never really been a fan of SW, but if I was I would have felt screwed by the whole franchise....I have never felt so disappointed since the Matrix Sequels.

27 years, pissed up the wall.Thank you Rupert Lowe!

2005-05-16T13:24:00.000Z

After 27 years in the top flight Southampton FC were relegated from the Premiership after a dire season. But nobody cannot say we did'nt desserve it, when we have had 3 managers in a season, a 'inept' chairman and a defense that are so far apart you could drive a bus through the gaps.

I would like to feel that this maybe a short term thing and we would be coming back up next season, hopefully as champions of the Championship. But reality makes me believe we may be down a very long time...

Lets see what the future holds.

4 more Years

2005-05-10T08:12:00.000Z

There are some plus sides to 4 more years of Mr 'Bliar'.

He will stand down at the next election
Erm... thats about it.

With any luck the Labour party will have good sense to bring this egomaniac down and replace him, although the choice of GB may not be a good idea but its a better option than 'Two Jabs' Prescott.

And with any luck, the people that voted for him will realise what a huge mistake it was to do so when he cripples the economy after spending many years spending cash we did'nt have.

Then there is the prospect of more armed conflicts, with Iran, Syria and North Korea looking a bit dodgy at the moment. These will all get the go ahead after a smudged up report says its legal to invade just to suit Bliars ever growing ambition of being Bush's lapdog.

So all in all, it sucks!

Will Tony Bliar please step down!

2005-05-03T15:17:00.000Z

Lets not start to knock him for everything he has done, because on the whole he has done a good job.

But its unforgivable that he lead this nation into a war which was illegal.
My vote hasnt gone to Labour, and won't whilst he is in charge. I will vote if there is a change, a change of leadership.My vote has gone to the Conservatives as I feel my small contribution will be felt along with others at Downing Street - and maybe then the PM will rethink what effect his lies have had on millions of people, not just here but also in Iraq.
Tony... stand down now and give the keys to number 10 to Gordon. Before the public remove you in 5 years time!

CS Gas - An insight

2005-04-25T11:30:00.000Z

This saturday I popped down with some of the lads from my TA unit to Gibralter Barracks for a good ol training session. First off was CS Gas ....

And in typical Will Dawe style I breathed in the stuff and was leaking fluids from my face in seconds, my nose stung..my mouth burned and my eyes watered like crazy. It was my own fault really, I didnt get my number right on the way out so I had to repeat my 'name,rank and number'.

On Saturday night i had a few bevvies with up in london with Paul and Julie to celebrate St.Georges day. Overall a good weekend.

NTL - Poor man of the Telecomms world!

2005-04-13T14:22:00.000Z

Since November 04 I have tryed to cancel my NTL broadband subscription... but to no success. Phone calls, letters even bloody thought abaout sky writing to get the message accross. But they still havnt cancelled. So my letter recently was sent by recorded delivery to make sure they got it and went like this:

Cancellations Dept
Ntl House
Bartley Wood Business Park
Hook
Hants
RG27 9UP

Since November of 2004 I have been trying to cancel my broadband subscription with NTL. Every phone call I make there is a different story ranging from:
1. ‘We will call you back to authorise the cancellation’ said one NTL operator, so I waited for the call … nothing.
2. I was told to send a letter to the head office declaring that I wanted to cancel, I did this and have received no reply. I am also still being billed.
Now it seems you are chasing me for payment, not by letter. Which is easier to pay, but by telephone. Only calling on weekdays between 9 and 5. When I am at work and I have no access to my home number.
Anyway, I would like my Broadband subscription stopped.
I would like ntl to stop sending me bills.
I would like all the payments paid back from the end of November for a service I hav’nt used or wanted.
My account number is: 501*******
I have also taken the liberty of sending this via recorded delivery, so I know you have signed for it.
Please accept my apologies if you are the poor soul who has to sort this out for me, it’s not a personal attack at you, more the worst telecommunications company in the world.

Sincerely,
William Dawe

New Job, New People, New Gossip

2005-03-21T13:59:00.000Z

I have now been with Data Track for three weeks now and iam enjoying what iam doing. I now have a super duper job title 'On Site Support Analyst'.... fancy eh!?!
The team I work with are a good bunch and Data Track seem to be a good employer who actually give a toss about there staff.

On discussion earlier today with a staff member from the client whos site we are on I found out that my prederssors were abit 'weird'.

Below is the email he sent me:

They’ve employed two dyslexics previously but more than that they didn’t have a clue about anything anyway

One, on having one of his many skin diseases announced he had an appointment with a gynaecologist

The other one – rang up the sandwich delivery service and instead of asking for a panini ordered a punani !!! great service!!

Another bloke used to go for long treks in the woods and came back with his jesus sandals covered in mud – he became known as the squirrel f**ker

One guy was so tight he would borrow off other people and then do anything to avoid paying them back and then have the cheek to come in a few days later and talk about spending £300 on his latest phone – we had some laughs with him as he was so easy to kick off. I’ll tell you about it later.

ASBO's

2005-02-14T19:36:00.000Z

Basingstoke police have hailed ASBO's (Anti Social Behaviour Orders) ...
Hailing something is pretty good but how about handing some out?

Example:
Saturday night a 18 year old mother (with child) was attacked walking through the park next to Gershwin road, where i live. The attackers were 4 males between the age of 12 (12......!!little shit) and 25. They pushed the pram with the infant over and assaulted the women, probably for cash ....probably because the sad twats can't get laid and thought trying to rape somebody was how to impress a women.
She fought them off and with child went home, to report the incident to the police.

Now, putting large quantities of cash on this, but i reckon these shits have commited an offense before and if they had been given a ASBO for the previous offenses, they may have been at home under curfew.

And before Basingstoke blue leave any comments , ... I think your doing a good job!
Not helped because of shed loads of paper work and government red tape. But you guys are in control of this, you want public support... stand up more for us then! Tell government that you want to be better coppers..

Passed 2nd time round!

2005-01-26T13:09:00.000Z

Passed my driving test today, second time round but I got it!
A total score of 10 minors and zero serious means that iam now legal to drive on the roads of this fair country. For about 40 mins i shat bricks the size of rhinos, for a few reasons.

I failed the first test because i was too cocky
My Mum and Dad both passed 3rd time and i wanted to beat them
I could'nt afford to do another test
I could'nt afford to take another day of sick to do the test

But heck, I have done it ! At a estimate cost of £1232 ...

Basingstoke Farmer Impales Head

2005-01-15T22:18:00.000Z

A FARMER has told how she impaled her head on a 12-inch spike - and walked away with only three stitches. Lucky Amanda Buckland cheated death in the accident that saw the rusty prong penetrate the back of her head. The 44-year-old was working at a north Hampshire farm on Saturday afternoon when she fell backwards onto a hay-baling machine. Miraculously, she escaped any serious injury. The spike had runparallel with Miss Buckland's skull and not into it - meaning she only needed a few stitches in the tiny wound.
If it had gone in any higher, the spike would have entered her brain. Any lower and it would have severed her spinal cord. Emergency services were called to the
farm, in Hartley Wintney, and were able to lift Miss Buckland off the spike,
which had lodged itself six inches inside her head. The drama at the farm,
which is owned by Miss Buckland's partner Peter Blay, happened as she was moving
some bales of straw for her friend, Louise White.
"I was passing the straw and she was taking it out to her trailer," said Miss Buckland. "As I was lifting the bales, I slipped and just slid down very slowly backwards - straight on to a hay bob. "I went to get up and couldn't. When I put my hand behind
my head, I realised why. "I didn't feel any pain. It was more discomfort -
it was just incredibly uncomfortable." Miss Buckland, of Trotters Lane,
Murrell Green, was in the barn by herself when the accident happened and cried
out to her friend to call an ambulance. Paramedics arrived with
fire-fighters from Hartley Wintney, the special equipment unit from Basingstoke
fire station, and the police. Two off-duty doctors working for the British
Association for Immediate Care Services (BASICS) - a voluntary organisation -
also attended the scene. Dr Howard Simpson, a consultant in the accident and
emergency department at Basingstoke hospital, gave Miss Buckland an anaesthetic
to sedate her while paramedics lifted her off the spike and rushed her to the
hospital. Dr Simpson said: "Normally, the ambulance crews and the technical
support unit from the fire service are able to free people trapped under their
car or on a railing. "But in this sort of situation it was very difficult to
know what to do for the best because of the physical position she was in.
"I was able to advise on how to free her. "Normally, we would try to remove the
object with the patient, but this was a big piece of machinery.
"It was difficult to cut anything without potentially harming her."
At the hospital, Miss Buckland was x-rayed to assess the damage and given just three stitches. She left hospital only hours after the accident happened.
Now she is at home taking antibiotics four times a day and is just coming to terms with the accident. "I was so fortunate," she added. "If it had gone straight up or if
my skull was not so strong, I would not be here now.
"Luckily enough, it slid down the outside of the skull and, when it got to
the base of my neck, it didn't go into the spine. "It is just starting to hit home that I could have been dead now. "If it had penetrated my body, it could have been my
heart - I'm very lucky." Mr Blay, 54, is relieved to have his partner of 25
years back home safe and well. "I was very concerned about Mandy - you can
imagine how worrying it was," he said. "When you get something like that going
into your head, no one would think you could be all right."

This article was taken from the Basingstoke Gazette. See, Basingstoke has drama... it isnt always about ASBO's and teraway teens trashing the place up and getting pregnant.

Happy New Year 2005

2005-01-14T11:23:00.000Z

It's been bloody ages since I last made a entry. My PC needs a new power supply and Iam still waiting for the order to be delivered. Iam currently working at Centerprise International, were Iam temping. It's just repairing PC's but it pays the bills and its work.

I have a few irons in the fire on the job front so wish me luck...Iam going to need it.

Harry is a Saint

2004-12-08T20:25:00.000Z

Harry Redknapp has been announced as the new Southampton FC manager. Best news I have heard in a long while, probably not the best news for the skates though. Maybe the Saints will stay up this year.

New Job

2004-12-02T20:34:00.000Z

Tommorow marks the completion of a second week at Centerprise International, where iam a IHF Bench Engineer. It has nothing to do with Web Design / Development / Surfing, which is just as well as I have had enough of it. I first set out to work in IT hardware support, but the 'web bug' got me and I changed trade and I have no real success in it at all. 2 weeks into IT hardware support and iam flying, iam repairing a total of 10 pc's a day, including diagnostics and fault troubleshooting. The money is shite.. but its cash and iam happy for once.

2004-11-28T21:49:00.000Z

Alan Clement - Died Saturday 27th November 2004

Alan was killed in a incident in the early hours of Saturday morning coming out of a nightclub in Basingstoke. He leaves a Widow and 3 children. I met Alan a few times and he even came to my wedding to Stace as he and his wife Tracie have been good friends for many years. Although I did'nt know him as well as alot of people, I Just felt it was right to pass on my deepest sympathies to his family.

French Trip

2004-11-27T22:32:00.000Z

Me, Stace,Sara & Glenda made our trip to France today... and my new moblog got it's first outing. All snaps were taken with my NEC 616 3G video phone and then emailed to my weblog. (link bottom left)

The journey there was long and boring, the Eurotunnel under the english channel has a weird feeling to it. And the people from Bologne are not happy with thousands of Brits turning up and ruining there weekly shop.

But lets be honest, the french should be used to being invaded by people from another country by now...! And can someone tell me why in Bologne its exceptable to allow your dog to 'Drop a Dougie' on the pavement... and then not clean it up.

Iam not french bashing by the way, I love my neighbours... just not there dogs.

2004-11-10T17:51:00.000Z

Life has a funny way of being good to you one moment...then being a bastard the next!
After only a month in my new job they have released me, on the grounds i may not be as experienced as they hoped i would be. Fair comment..

But I told them that from the start, so why am I the one to cop-it for there misjudgement. Heck... anyways i have started to get back on the treadmill (again) and iam now 'temping' with a coffee vending machine company called Clix.
Its only for a week till i get a interview for another company who are intrested in my services. But the timing of the whole 'out of stable work' thang could not have been worse.

The world just doesn't have any justice ...and it probably never did. My home town Southampton, can have a bunch of over paid footballers get thrashed by lower league minnows... but they all keep there jobs. As for me, I work my cotton picking socks off to be told iam not good enough and trown out the door at the first sign of panic.

The devil is alive and well in Basingstoke...and he just happens to be the
line manager of my career!

2004-11-04T11:12:00.000Z

God help America.

2004-10-29T20:49:00.000Z

If i could vote I would, and it would be for Kerry.

2004-10-25T14:13:00.000Z

This weekend I rented out 'Farenheit 9/11' from Blockbusters.It's better than Bowling for Colombine - but equally as shocking.

I did'nt pretend all of what was said in the film is the whole truth, as I am, along with many others unable to get my hands on all the evidence. Being without the evidence isn't a problem though, as 99% of what the film claims about Bush would'nt surprise me in the least if it was 100% accurate!

He shows more contempt for human life than what ever I could possibly imagine. The great people of the United States are having their good name dragged through the mud by somebody that you could only describe as a 'terrorist with a suit & tie'.

When sitting in a classroom reading books with school children, he was informed the US was under attack.
At this point every US citizen, if in his position would probably done something there and then.... but he decided to sit there and think about it for 10 mins!!

Iam not an expert, and iam sure there isn't alot he could have done in 10 minutes, but it would have been alot more than doing nothing. And democracy....he has changed the meaning of that!!

de·moc·ra·cy
n. pl. de·moc·ra·cies
Government by the people, exercised either directly or through elected representatives.
A political or social unit that has such a government.
The common people, considered as the primary source of political power.
Majority rule.
The principles of social equality and respect for the individual within a community.

In the eyes of Bush, none of the above....Democracy to him means absolute control.

And as our inept government sends 700 British Troops to support the US army, it seems his power is not just over the US, but the UK too.

2004-10-23T20:40:00.000Z

Today Paul dropped off some photos that were taken from our holiday in Zante. This is me (with beer) and Claire. I have thefacial hair, and she has the mark every teen would like to be without....a zit!!

2004-10-18T20:13:00.000Z

Today I sit in at my computer feeling a sense of achivement I have made it through TAFS2 with the TA. Squarebashing, drinking, ironing, eating a lightning speeds and shaving twice in 5 hours....and all so Iam prepared for my recruits training in Febuary 2005.
My body aches like I have done 15 rounds with Mike Tyson, and Army food is still repeating on me...the smell is terrible.

2004-10-13T10:29:00.000Z

Iam not even going to tell you what else it does....!

2004-10-08T12:53:00.000Z

My first week with index eBusiness draws to a close and its been great. At first I was worried that I would'nt fit in, but everybody has been really nice and welcoming.

I would be a fibber if I said I don't miss working at the BHF.

This weekend my ol'Man is visiting us in Basingstoke, even after I told him we were shopping for part of the day... which he really hates. My Dad's idea of shopping is like a smash and grab...

2004-10-02T22:01:00.000Z

So... I look on to the future.
Iam yet again in a position where iam starting a new job.
And Iam also feeling the 'come down' of leaving a good job in London.

My 5 months with the BHF were great, working with a good online team for a great charity. For reasons I would rather not say on my blog I decided to move on...

With this short and sweet blog posting, I would like to wish everyone the best of luck. I will check back to the website every so often and see the good ideas being put to effect.... iam still hoping you guys make a music download service...lol

2004-09-29T21:05:00.000Z

This was also from the same weekend. I have only done Clay shooting once before...so I was'nt all that good.....still, I got the knack in the end....just missed a shit load of clays!!

2004-09-29T20:48:00.000Z

This picture was taken at Jersey Camp on the isle of wight last weekend. Iam in a sort of 'concentrating' pose as the Captain was giving me a brief on the workings of a SA80 ....

2004-09-15T15:11:00.000Z

It amazes me how a group of 'pro-hunting' supporters can think that they have a good reason, to bleat on about why slaughtering a fox in a totally barbaric way is not all that bad.

Just for the record, and I hope your paying attention class......its wrong OK!!

You all look flippin ridiculous, charging around london trying to have a scrap with every copper there...but your the first to pass comment on may day rioters arent you!
And are there any shops in the countryside that sell anything but tweed and green boots?
Iam not sterotyping here...just watch BBC News 24...your all wearing it!

Crawl back to your tacthed cottages and your interbreeding and allow the government to pass the only law that truely makes sense.

2004-08-13T10:23:00.000Z

There are alot of things with being a father my ol man could have given me advice on. That everyday is a joy in the company of your children, that they keep you young and give you a look on life that an adult could'nt. But there are also times when things are not peachy, like with everything in life. Still being quite new to the father role I though I had every angle covered, that things are always easy to sort out.....

Yesterday me and Stace had to break it to the gang that there Grandad had passed away late afternoon. The gut wrenching tear in my guts watching there little faces go from happiness to dispair was unbearable....Davee in particular has taken it quite badly as the poor bugger has spent to much of her life hating death for depriving her of her real dad, just to go and get a reminder of it now with the loss of a much loved grand parent.

I only knew Peter Ridgers for about 3 years, alot less than most in the family. But I feel privilaged to meet such a kind, respected person with a huge zest for life and a love of the good things - a drink was never to far from him when there was a get together!
At 75 many will think that he had a good innings, but he was'nt ready for it, he was a young 75 who everybody liked being about. He always seem to do things for others with not a ounce of complaint, nothing was to much... the christmas party at the Ridgers household won't ever be the same, but we all know he will be watching over...

Peter can also be with his son David now, probably visiting all the watering holes in heaven....
I myself would like to hope that Peter can rest in peace now, away from the problems in our world... where he can be young forever. It was a pleasure to have known you mate!!

2004-08-03T08:02:00.000Z

This email from my Dad that i read this morning could go down as the most disgusting thing i have ever heard of....or read.

>>> ClnDawe@xxx.xxx 02 August 2004 21:47:55 >>>
William, I had my ears syringed this Monday morning in Bitterne Health centre...I have saved nearly half an ounce of wax in a tube as I was amased what can actually fit in a human ear. Anyway any news from Byrdland? Saints lost 3-1 to Plymouth. DAD

2004-08-02T12:01:00.000Z

Taken from Funtime Franky:

While I was driving down the A19 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked:
“Runway too short?” To which I replied, “I’m late for work”. To which he asked, “What do you do?” “I’m a rectum stretcher”, I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused “A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?”
“Well” I said, ” I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I get my other hand in, and then I slowly start to stretch the hole, until it’s about six feet.”
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, “And just what do you do with a six foot asshole?” to which I politely replied, “You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge…..”
Speeding ticket: £105.00
Court costs: £45
Look on copper’s face: Priceless

2004-07-27T01:13:00.000Z

I have found out that my blog has a web address.....thats only different by two letters, that have been swaped around!!! Crap News of the week I know....and nobody is ever going to be interested but here it is:

http://basingstokelife.blgospot.com/

notice the spelling of blogspot? I only noticed this other site as I am the worlds worst touch typist and hit the keys incorrectly. What are the chances that alot of my captive audience (captive??....now iam joking) are actually trying to look for a site on the good lord himself?

Better calm down the swearing then. And the blasphemys.....
And the drinking
Smoking
....yikes...I could go on!

2004-07-22T01:03:00.000Z

No updates for a while on my blog....Basingstoke just isn't that intresting this week. Met up with aload of the guys at Gibralter Barracks to do a few sessions of Clay pidgeon shooting. Only me did'nt have a clays to shoot at as the guy in charge was unavailable. So we squeezed off a few shots ..... some kick on them buggers I can tell you!

After we ran out of cart's we used the air rifle to take out the empty shells which had been placed a wall. Memories of being in the scouts came flooding back to me...one memory stuck out the most, when my sister shot the scout leader in the arse with a sharp dart.

Davee got back from Paris last night and talked us to death about her trip... and my lovely babes got me a aniversery pres!! James Bond collection on DVD....
Dead chuffed...
She did say that she was expecting her pressie to be of the same price.....cheeky devil..

2004-07-15T12:00:00.001Z

Interesting week so far, i have worked, slept, eaten food and gone to work! my blog enteries lately have become really dull and iam looking for a source of inspiration as i feel that iam getting a form of bloggers writing block.

What are you supposed to write about if you have nothing to say?
You can always ramble on like iam doing now...

maybe i'll leave you with a quote fom the great Gordon Strachan:
Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

2004-07-04T17:33:00.000Z

Well, tonight Matthew ...I'll be supporting the Greeks. Love to see them do it, been such a joy to see them get so far. Fate thought usually gives it to the favourites....but hell, we can dream!

2004-07-01T14:11:00.000Z

Yesterdays tube strikes cause chaos in London, leaving loads of commuters to either take the bus or walk. I walked,...from Waterloo to Bond Street and back again. I have decided to wear my trainers today as my feet are killing me still from my highly impractable leather shoes..good for looking good,crap for walking in!

The plus side was that i got to see ALOT of london which i usually miss everyday on the tube.The downsides are off the chart...
After my driving glesson tonight iam entertaining Dawe Snr with the joys of Greece Vs Czech Republic in Euro 2004. I want Greece to win but I cannot see it happening....

2004-06-24T22:13:00.000Z

Kim Sun-il Beheading

The previous post about the football means nothing compared to what us humans to do each other.These hard hitting images will leave you with a sense of gratefullness that you live in a 'safe' environment.

Personal thought

Would they have killed Kim if they did'nt get the media attention?? Probably not...

http://haloscan.com/tb/amandadoerty/108807271378389234

2004-06-24T21:55:00.000Z

Here we have the culprit for our exit from Euro 2004. Whilst everyone on the BBC gives poor ol Vassell a ear bending they failed to remember Becks here missed the goal altogether. And in typical fashion would'nt take responsibility for it and blamed the floor, even though 9 other people managed to cope well enough!

He has been a liability the whole of Euro 2004 - His ego just is way out of control!

A quick visit to the BBC 606 sports forum dug up these comments:
If you had scored that f-king penalty against the French, we would have been playing Greece.
Beckham costs us the tournament by doing absolutely nothing again.

Overpaid pre-madonna, rip the armnband off his arm and send him off to wear his skirts and daft hairstyles elsewere.

Please!!! Comon Vassell DID NOT MISS it was saved at least his was on target unlike Beckhams, He cost us the WIN !!! at the end !! so please give Vassell a break.

Intresting don't you think....people don't buy the Beckham thing anymore..bout time he played football rather than trying to flog us razor blades,shoes,castrol oil,t-shirts. Your time is up Becks....Eriksson make sure you and David close the door on the way out and let our nation play football again.

2004-06-21T10:19:00.000Z

What a cool weekend..well...Friday was!
Me and Stace made the trip up to see Nickelback at the Carling Hammersmith Apollo. I wasn't supposed to go after the TA had told me i was away that weekend but they cancelled which meant i could go to london. It was a better gig this time, as i could see what was going on! We had some cracking seats up in the circle and could see the whole gig without some bugger getting in the way.

The support group let the evening down though, the English group InME. Characterless, sound-the-same crap!!

They had a small fan base there for them but I wasn't impressed, even the stage crew cleaning the equipment up at the end of there set was more entertaining.

DVLA Newsflash
In order to assist other motorists in identifying potentially dangerous drivers, it's now compulsory for anyone with a lower than average IQ and driving ability to display a warning flag. The flag (comprising of a red cross on a white background) will be attached to the top of at least one door of their vehicle. For drivers of exceptionally low ability, additional flags are required.

2004-06-16T19:34:00.000Z

This was taken on a Virgin Cross Country Train on Sunday on its way up to Reading. Picture quality is a bit naff and it does'nt help that Davee was pulling a face...!!

2004-06-15T10:44:00.000Z

It not seems there is some confusion with the whole weekend at Grantham this week. CVHQ have no idea why iam going, but thats not what I have been told by my branch. The have told me Iam going!
I'll find out tonight but if its called off i will be bloody annoyed, as I turned down my ticket to Nickelback this Friday.

2004-06-14T11:42:00.000Z

Yesterday Summer Xs was on at Madejski Stadium in Reading. Me, Davee, Claire and view other friends went along. Not really my bag, especially Blue who I really detest.Did get to down a few pints, see Lenny Henry & Dawn French (and speak to them),get hot on a train and watch England balls it up in Portugal. But a good day all round.

David Beckham's voice is going to be used to make all stadium announcements at England's Euro 2004 matches. A spokesman said, "We heard he comes over the PA really well."

2004-06-10T07:55:00.000Z

Yesterday I suffered probably the worst train journey since I got my new job in London. If it was going to happen, it was happening on this train.
1. The Train had about 5 carriages less than usual, but same amount of people.
2. Air conditioning broke down and temperatures soared to at least 35c...
3. Beer was warm!

Even the spanish student sat next to me was appalled by the treatment to the train passengers or train networks give us. Pay top prices for shit conditions!

2004-06-07T12:04:00.000Z

Watch the Trailer for Michael Moore's new film 'Farenheit 9/11'
After watching it leave your comments, as I don't think iam the only one who thinks this will be the end of Bush's career.

Farenheit 9/11

2004-06-04T14:42:00.000Z

The Jubilee Line has severe delays occurring in both directions.

This will affect journeys from 15:25 on 04/06/04 until further notice. This is due to non-availability of staff.
London Underground News Website

Thanks a friggin bunch....! Now iam going to be even later home.

2004-06-04T08:11:00.000Z

From Saturday 5th till the 13th Iam taking part in the Big Red Fightback step up challenge. I have set a target of 5000 steps in a week!

Visit here to sponsor me online:
Sponsor Me here ...pretty please!

2004-06-02T13:28:00.000Z

Just one of the Posters from the British Heart Foundations successfull campaign.

2004-06-02T11:54:00.000Z

Yet another visit to Selfridges, yet another celeb spotting!!
I even spoke to this one, which is a first as they usally dart around at 5000 miles per hour.

Daniella Westbrook - Standing out side one of the entrances as I was walking past, puffing away on a ciggie. When I opened the door to go in (as you do) she followed in behind so i held the door open for her.

'Thankyou, your a real gent!' says Daniella
'Ah don't mention it' I reply (crap one at that)

Its getting quite regular this lark...
Yesterday it was Indra Ové, saw her buying shoes...Ok, she was in Interview with a Vampire & The Fifth Element.

And then a week or so ago there was Alex Parks...not really a celeb?!?
Located on the left near the bottom I have created my last seen celebs at selfridges list. Crap I know...but it fills space.

2004-06-01T10:54:00.000Z

A horrible day today, supposed to be bloody the first day of summer. All it has done though is piss down with rain...
Hoping though that my day at work goes a little better, I want to impress and so far I think that I could have done better. I may even have done really well but I do get a tad paranoid about if iam liked or not.

2004-05-29T22:46:00.000Z

coz there funny, ...!!

Replies Put on Child Support Agency Forms

The following are all replies that women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details: These are genuine excerpts from the forms.

01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim X. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being
sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you
with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
conceived at a party on Acacia Avenue where I had unprotected sex with
a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I
fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

04. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW
that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.
Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's
had it replaced.

05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope
confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ
risen again.

06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do
so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for
the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country.
Please advise.

07. I do not know who the father of my child was as all sailors look the
same to me. I can confirm that he was on a ship berthed at Norfolk.

08. Peter X is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can
you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

09. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney -
maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for
sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening.
If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilised.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby- after all when
you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

2004-05-27T20:59:00.000Z

Just seen the recent episode of 'Hell's Kitchen' and Gordon Ramsey was right to have a go at that 'twat' Vic Reeves for asking for a couple of fried eggs. What does he think he was doing?? He probably thought he was being funny....I did'nt laugh....tosser

2004-05-21T15:11:00.000Z

For Sale - Siemens SL55 - (rubin)
Update:25th May 04 - Sold for 132 GBP...!!

You will find its a very nice phone, honest...!!

Update: 26th May 04 - Sold for 20 quid!
Selling my SL55 Quick pix camera as well @
For Sale - Quick Pix Camera

2004-05-21T10:48:00.000Z

Oh this is good...I wonder if she likes drinking Becks....the beer that is!!

2004-05-21T09:28:00.000Z

Have you ever lost anything without being able to explain where the hell its gone? This morning confirmed to me that there is an 'abyss' of lost stuff in our house.Car keys,wallet,phone charger...all vanish for anything up to 2 hours, without explanation!

My phone charger has been missing for a while now and my mobby is close to dying on me.Iam beginning to think thats what happened to Lord Lucan, has made the fatal error of tying himself to a set of car keys and now he is bloody lost in some bloody limbo state of misplacement.

2004-05-18T10:13:00.000Z

Not a good start this morning, could'nt find the bloody Oyster top up machine at waterloo so i gave up and bought a return ticket to Bond street.And when i did get to Bond Street i was in such a world of my own, i put my ticket in the turnstile...it popped out. Doors only open on these things if you collect your ticket...but i carried on walking using my bag as a battering ram becuase the gates were still closed. I then realised what i had done, which included leaving my return ticket in the turnstile...
But it was to late, so i left quickly to the sound of a few Japanese tourists sniggering behind me. Iam Such a dumb ass in the morning!!!

I need stonger coffee in the morning or otherwise someday ill forget where i work.So now i have to fork out more cash to get back to waterloo station tonight, i wont make that mistake again.

2004-05-17T10:42:00.000Z

Al Qaeda puts Bounty on Kofi Anans Head Courtesy of Frank & Blogging Dave

2004-05-17T10:31:00.000Z

What a weekend, lovely weather!!
Been a scorcher for spring, which was just as well as Davee had her Birthday party on Saturday so it was ok to go ahead with the Barbeque. Davee and her friends made a complete mess of the garden but i think they enjoyed themselves...

Friday's trip back on the tube was full of surprises, first of all i got caught on a carriage that had a faulty heater, which then started to smoke heavily...and people still did'nt move from there seats...
I got straight off and waited for the next train to come along.
Then on the next one everybody had abuse hurled at them by some pisshead..the smoking carriage could have been safer!

Caught the sun abit yesterday when me and Louie went up the pub, it left a slight burn imprint on my face of my shades, but my arms look quite brown.

2004-05-14T08:01:00.000Z

Checked my hotmail account this morning to find yet more money that has my name on it.And why are they always in Nigeria??

DEAR FRIEND,

GREETING TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. DUE TO THE SIMILARITY OF NAMES, I WILL LIKE
YOU TO ACT AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO ONE OF MY EXTEEMED CLIENT. I AM MR. AZIZ
HAKIM MANAGER BILLS AND EXCHANGE AT THE FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT OF
STANDARD CHARTERED BANK NIGERIA. I AM WRITING THIS LETTER TO ASK FOR YOUR
SUPPORT AND CO-OPERATION TO CARRY OUT THIS BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY IN MY
DEPARTMENT.

AN ABANDONED SUM OF US$18,565,000.00 (EIGHTEEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-
FIVE THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY) IS IN AN ACCOUNT THAT BELONGS TO MY
CLIENT WHO IS A FOREIGNER. HE IS THE MD/C.E.O. MULTI TOWER CONSTRUCTION
COMPANY LIMITED, HE DIED ALONG WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY IN NOVEMBER 2001 IN A
PLANE CASH.

AS HIS ACCOUNT OFFICER, ALL EFFORTS TO LOCATE ANY OF MY CLIENTS EXTENDED
RELATIVES, HAS PROVED UNSUCCESSFUL. AFTER THESE SEVERAL UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPTS,
I DECIDED TO TRACE HIS LAST NAME OVER THE INTERNET, TO LOCATE ANY MEMBER OF
HIS FAMILY HENCE I CONTACTED YOU.

I HAVE CONTACTED YOU TO ASSIST IN REPATRIATING THE MONEY AND PROPERTY LEFT
BEHIND BY MY CLIENT BEFORE THEY GET
CONFISCATED OR DECLARED UNSERVICEABLE BY THE BANK WHERE THIS HUGE DEPOSITS
WERE LODGED.

NOW STANDARD CHARTERED BANK NIGERIA WHERE THE DECEASED HAD AN ACCOUNT VALUED
AT ABOUT ($18.565 MILLION US DOLLARS) HAS ISSUED OUT A NOTICE TO PROVIDE THE
NEXT OF KIN OR HAVE THE ACCOUNT CONFISCATED WITHIN THE NEXT 45 OFFICIAL
WORKING DAYS.

SINCE I HAVE BEEN UNSUCCESSFUL IN LOCATING THE RELATIVES FOR OVER 2 YEARS NOW
I SEEK YOUR CONSENT TO PRESENT YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN OF THE DECEASED SINCE
YOU HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME SO THAT THE PROCEEDS OF THIS ACCOUNT VALUED AT
($18.565 MILLION US DOLLARS) CAN BE PAID TO YOU AND THEN YOU AND
ME CAN SHARE THE MONEY. 80% TO ME AND 20% TO YOU.

THERE IS NO RISK AT ALL, AS AN ATTORNEY WILL DO THE PAPERWORK FOR THIS
TRANSACTION. AS THE BRANCH MANAGER, MY POSITION GUARANTEES THE SUCCESSFUL
EXECUTION OF THIS TRANSACTION.

ALL I REQUIRE IS YOUR HONEST COOPERATION TO ENABLE US SEE THIS DEAL THROUGH. I
GUARANTEE THAT THIS WILL BE EXECUTED UNDER A LEGITIMATE ARRANGEMENT THAT WILL
PROTECT YOU FROM ANY BREACH OF THE LAW. PLEASE GET IN TOUCH WITH ME BY MY
EMAIL.

BEST REGARDS,
AZIZ HAKIM

2004-05-13T14:09:00.000Z

hehehe....could'nt resist it!

A mother and her son were flying Aer Lingus from Dublin to Heathrow. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't Big planes have baby planes?". The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy said, "Yes she did." "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Aer Lingus always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you."

2004-05-12T22:08:00.000Z

Spending the next few nights with my brother in laws. He lives in west acton so i just got a quick trip up the central line from bond street to his gaff.

Day 2 of BHF on thursday, so i plan to make a good impression!

2004-05-12T12:42:00.000Z

Please bare with me for a while, iam still adding features and the rest of the gubbins to this template. I decided to pick a 'blogger' template rather than make my own because iam lazy, and this one is more flexible with the blogger account.

I have also started my first day at British Heart Foundation as there new Online Co-Ordinator. Been quite busy so far, there is also some cracking food places round here as well...
Oh, and you may consider this as 'harping on' but i my arms STILL ache from the TA recruitment weekend.

2004-05-09T19:50:00.000Z

got a little question for you:
What was I doing this weekend?

Clues:
I had my Balls felt by a man with a tan
I made 11 new friends
I got a uniform
I ran 1 1/5 miles in 10 mins 30 (which is amazing for me)
An arm full of jabs
Giving blood samples
Giving piss samples (Including pissing over hand trying to get it into a tube)

Can you guess?

Ok,Ill tell you. I was on a TA recruitment weekend at Gibralter Barracks, and i maneged to get in.
Next stop Basic training....oh dear...lol

2004-05-04T08:55:00.000Z

This morning Stace tryed to cancel her AOL subscription because she has got her comp networked to mine now. After 20 mins on the phone with a AOL sales rep, she still didnt manage to cancel....but she managed to get a few months free...!! ...

WHY DO AOL NEVER SEEM TO TAKE 'CANCEL MY SUBSCRIPTION' AS A INDICATION THAT YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY WISH TO CANCEL??

Whats more, if you type 'billing'... you get hundreds of options to pay them cash.

Type 'Cancel Subscription'.... you get two options.
Email or call the nice Sales lady who won't cancel you.

Anyone else noticed this when cancelling?

2004-04-28T19:26:00.000Z

Second interview was today.....
Travelled up to London...
Shat it....
went home...
Didnt think i got the job...

Got a phone call from Ciaran
FUCKING GOT IT !!!
I get the details in the next couple of days but i now work for the British Heart Foundation.
Thankyou to Kate & all the other browsers that gave me messages of support. But most of all to my wife Stacey who i depend on alot....she came up trumps!
As a pressie i have got her front row tickets for a Nickelback gig in a couple of months at the Hammersmith Apollo.

2004-04-26T09:42:00.000Z

First day back at the college since the start of the easter holidays, and iam a bit bored. Cannot really see the point of me sticking around if iam sort of 'surplus to requirements', but hey ho!
Can get on with teaching myself ASP, it looks like it could be interesting. And Iam still waiting for a call from Ciaran at Orion IT about a job so i have a few things that i can get on with.
And a big plus is that the weather is great!

2004-04-22T20:07:00.000Z

awww....my poor feet...!
had a great day, I had a interview with the British Heart Foundation in Bond Steet, London for a job. I have also been asked back for a second interview.
The job is a online co-ordinator helping edit and control the main UK BHF site. It costs a bit in travel but its a good job and one i would be silly to turn down. And i get to see London...ok...maybe not that last bit.

It has been almost 4-5 weeks and this is the first interview i have had so far. And ill make sure i take a camera next time iam up there so Frank & Kate can have a few snaps of how 'ol blighty' is doing without them. Weather hasnt changed guys...so not alot!

2004-04-15T12:40:00.000Z

Since my last blog entry I have:
Become a year older (23)
Almost completed my first ever Temp Job with Motorola
Bought a Brand new Freeview box for only (£38, bargain!)
Gained Band of Brothers on DVD & got a book on ASP.NET for my birthday
Binged on a 'Bounty Easter Egg'.

Some equally good news is that tonight about 5:15pm iam having a sort of interview for a 1st line helpdesk job in Chineham. Not really what i wanted but its work and it pays the bills.

2004-04-09T18:47:00.000Z

Its not easy leaving a job that you like, especially one in which you have florished in. My time at Lord Wandsworth College has been great, and its great to know my work was appreciated. Here is just ONE of the references i recieved form staff who wanted to help me on my way. Quite a good one, and it certanly goes along way in helping me find other work!

Reference - Will joined the IT staff at Lord Wandsworth College in September 2002 on a fixed term contract.

The College had invested a great deal in establishing a whole school network and required some software support and some expertise in web page design. Will very quickly showed himself to be an effective worker in these areas and very soon established websites on the school’s intranet for those departments which requested them. Given guidance on content, he was able to transform these ideas into effective websites which caught the imagination and had a very real visual impact on the end-users.

Will learnt a great deal from the tasks demanded of him by the school and was always willing to pick up new ideas and learn new techniques as required for a particular task. He would often try the find the ideal or exact tool for a particular job and gained a great deal of satisfaction when he mastered it.

After a short time Will was given responsibility for standalone computers which were dotted around the school campus. He was able to support these effectively and could relatively easily put right hardware and software problems with these machines.

Will likes to work independently but can work as part of a team and did so with the two hardware technicians and the Head of ICT at the College. He works best when given specific guidelines on the task to be achieved. Will is a polite and confident young man who had a good record of attendance and punctuality and did not miss any time through illness.

2004-04-08T10:44:00.000Z

I have emailed this to just about everybody i know, even if they couldnt give a shit that iam standing with the RWC trophy. Whilst the majority have been impressed, one or two havn't....
I emailed my good pal (soon to be ex-good pal...lol) Louie this picture and his only comment was:

'Its been done in Photoshop'

To which i assume he thinks i a hour cutting my image out of one snap and pasting it into a picture of the trophy, this i can do and have become quite good at.... but not this time.
And no....its not made of chocolate nor is it a 'fake' one, its real..really.

2004-04-06T20:52:00.000Z

You will probably think i have gone nuts, but i havnt...!

But fellow Southampton born lad Wayne Bridge has got revenge on Arse-nal and knocked em out of the Champions league with a late winner at Highbury. And what a peach it was!!

Bye Bye Arsenal , Bye Bye Arsenal!!!

2004-04-05T11:48:00.000Z

Few things done today, surprised alot of people by turning up for a third day of temping with Motorola. On my dinner hour i had my picture done with the Rugby World Cup, which i will post as soon as they email it to me.

JOKE MEMO
From: Bin Laden, Osama

To: All Al Queda Fighters

Subject: The Cave, Do Not Distribute Outside The Organisation.

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns:

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning rota ..have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halal toaster).

Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the s**t out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Thanks.

Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy, Ossy, Ossy, Oy, Oy, Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.

Five: Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA F***S DONKEYS" on the group toilet wall It's a lie, the donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.

Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a grey area.)

Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.

Love you lots,

Group Hug.

Os.

PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.

2004-04-01T20:27:00.000Z

The posts to my blog have been of a shit standard over the last few days.....but with this one i hope to make up for it.
Started my first day on my temp work with Motorola in Basingstoke town centre today, and according to there guidelines thats all i can say on that matter.......i work for marketing and they dont like there work being discussed.
But i can say i enjoyed the work and everyone there was nice and friendly ....

its poo though i only have two weeks with them, then iam back to the college to finish my job off.
And i got a fantastic reference from a colleague....made me feel quite good inside.

2004-03-29T13:58:00.000Z

With three weeks off from the college i have found that i have plenty of time to go looking for work. Only one agency seemed interested, and the girl in the office was more than helpful to take my details and help with my CV.It feels strange that almost this time two years ago i was doing the same thing, and it was so stressfull. At least this time iam alot more experienced than last time.

2004-03-26T18:07:00.000Z

Everybody has good days ...and everybody has bad ones. And after 2 years at Lord Wandsworth College i was told that they would not be re-newing my contract.

Cheers People!

So this evening iam having beer, wine and music...like most fridays. And a side order of job hunting on reed.co.uk
I just can't wait to see how they run the intranet with nobody knowing how to maintain it.

2004-03-19T22:01:00.000Z

Beer + George Michael's New Album + more Beer = Friday Night

2004-03-17T17:48:00.000Z

Shot up to Aldershot last night to drop off my TA Medical forms so they could be checked by my Staff Sargent. Stace had all day be telling her chums at work that i was going to get my 'Balls felt', which would'nt have been to bad, but they took the piss out of me and gave me funny looks all day.
Lil Bugger isn't she, but lovely thought.

Tommorow i get back into my driving lessons after i passed my theory, i'll have a couple of them and then i get on to my actual driving test. About bloody time alot of you are saying...!!

2004-03-14T22:03:00.000Z

Not alot to say today, but i will say.......Paul Sturrock...congrats...a bloody good start!!!
Saints 2 Liverpool 0

2004-03-13T08:44:00.000Z

MY BLOODY KNEE!!
Heck we won though...Yes, thats right. Racing Wandsworth 7 Wozza Allstar Eleven 3, and i even made the score sheet with an impressive 25 yard shot in the bottom left hand corner of the goal.
My knee hurts though, its like all the muscles are really bruised, but that will teach me for not warming up properly.

The Car I Want
Its called the Ligier Be UP, 505 cc Scooter car. And i only need a CBT to drive it, with costs for a new model at around £4000. If anyone wants to give me a birthday pressie (13th April) then this is it.

2004-03-12T11:51:00.000Z

What does a 2 hour train journey, annoying passengers running up and down the train screaming, weird people talking to themselves in train stations and a boring seminar all have in common?

YES! Its the Brighton Macromedia Seminar!

The seminar was exactly like last octobers, just advertised differently to fool punters into coming again. And they even failed to provide enough seats for everyone, which explains my my arse is sore today from sitting on a rock hard floor. I dont think iam going to make another trip down there again, i did feel conned!

Then you have weirdos in Subway who talk to themselves frantically whilst your trying to eat, then they ask you the time every 5 mins.....to the point they turn around to you and say....'you are telling me the truth about the time arn't you?'

WHAT...??

My reply to this was.....'why would i tell you a lie?' .... this i dont get a answer for, so i finished my club sandwhich and go out of there.
Once the seminar was up i made my way home....for another 2 hour train journey.I even managed to get a snooze on the train.

2004-03-10T15:22:00.000Z

Is this the most stupid person in America??

This Woman had made 3 One Million US Dollar bills to pay for shopping of around a grand in her local Wal-Mart. Failing to really think this one out she didn't know that there isnt such thing as a $1Million dollar bill, and even had the stupidity to ask the cashier for change!!

The cashier immediately noticed the bill - bearing the picture of the Statue of Liberty - was fake and called her manager who alerted the police.

"This is the first time in my law enforcement career I've seen someone trying to use a $1 million bill," local police chief Almond Turner was quoted as saying by the Houston Chronicle newspaper.

"It was green, but you could tell it was not a real bill," Mr Turner added. Police are investigating her mental health.....
(Source:BBCi News - US Woman shops with fake $1m bill)

2004-03-09T21:18:00.000Z

STRESS...!!!!
yes, i have found out today what real working stress is really like.

Iam currnently in the process of moving the Intranet from our old server to a new server provided by RM. This is easier said then done.
Last time i got myself a written warning for totally fucking it up, so iam abit on edge this time making it alot more stressful. Progress is better this time but things are still not looking the way they should.
Iam counting on the server extensions working tommorow or otherwise iam fresh out of solutions....

Has anyone else moved an intranet between a RM Community Connect 2.4 server and a RM CC3 Server??
If you have HEEEEEEEELLLLPPPP!!!! .....please...

2004-03-08T14:00:00.000Z

Claire had her last game of the season for Hatch Warren Ladies on Sunday. Probably a good thing as Stace was shouting nasty things at the other teams number 12 ..... but in Staceys defence, the number 12 did look like a bloke!
And it was amusing to hear Stace shout to Claire, 'Kick her in the bollocks!'. She can get rather naughty when she wants to be...lol...

2004-03-06T16:57:00.000Z

After reading about four young boys from the same family who are desperately ill with X-linked lymphoproliferative disease, I have decided to join the thousands of people in Britain who have put there name forward for the bone marrow transplant donor register. The four boys from Romsey, near Southampton, need the transplant or they will not live past there teens...So..I urge all you healthy buggers out there to follow the rest of us and do a good deed for the year.

The link below will take you to the Anthony Nolan Trust site where you can register your interest.
Anthony Nolan.org.uk

2004-03-05T16:17:00.000Z

In this weeks copy of TimeOut - London, Robert Elms has written a article on how London should be separate from England and the rest of the UK.
A Republic.....
The sort of comments he spouts are what you would find from narrow minded Londoners (Only a minority!) He reckons this would be great because all the money that Londerners would generate in tax's and Russian billionaires would go into funding the biggest shit hole in society, instead of funding poor northern towns.

I agree with him about one thing....It should be a Republic.
Its a shite reflection of the UK anyway, most tourists only ever got to London and go away thinking we have tea with the queen and we all speak with cockney accents.
They fail to realise...(including Londerners) that the UK is a lot more than London will ever be in the sense of tradition and history. And I would rather look at a field of poppy's in Hampshire or The Giants Causeway in N.Ireland than any poxxy, over-priced, jumped up fuckheads, restaurant / brothel / art gallery.

Note: This post was in reference to TimeOut's Robert Elms.....and not the vast majority of London. Who i think make a shit city sort of respectable.

Note 2: Robert, you can come and stay in my Hampshire home this summer.... you will find we have clean air to go with our restaurants & Art Gallerys. And we even have a multicultural society as well....